What Is It?

Dating Violence is controlling, abusive, and agressive behavior in a romantic relationship. It can happen in straight or gay relationships. It can include verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or in combination.

Controlling behavior may include:

• Not letting you hang out with your friends.
• Constantly calling to find out where you are, who your with, and what you are doing.
• Telling you what you can and can't wear.
• Having to be with you at all times. 
• Demanding that you explain about calls and/or answer your phone when he is around. Looking through your phone and having to explain phone numbers.

Verbal and emotional abuse may include:

• Calling you names
• Jealousy
• Cutting you down in private or with others
• Threatening to hurt you, himself, or family members if you don't do what they say.

Physical Abuse:                                                       

• Shoving
• Punching
• Slapping
• Pinching
• Hitting or Kicking
• Hair Pulling
• Strangling

Sexual Abuse:

• Unwanted touching and kissing.
• Forcing you to have sex.
• Not letting you use birth control.
• Forcing you to do other sexual things.
• Pressures you to get serious or have sex before you are ready.

IF YOU ARE A VICTIM OF DATING VIOLENCE, YOU MIGHT...

• FEEL IT'S YOUR FAULT
• FEEL ANGRY, SAD, LONELY, DEPRESSED, OR CONFUSED.
• FEEL HELPLESS TO STOP THE ABUSE.
• FEEL LIKE YOU CAN'T TALK TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
• FEEL PROTECTIVE OF YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND.
• THINK YOU CAN "CURE" THE ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE..

• One in five teens in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by their partner.
• 50-80% of teens have reported knowing others who were involved in violent relationships.
• Young women, ages 16-24 years, experience the highest rates of relationship abuse.

GET HELP

Being a victim of dating violence is not your fault. Nothing you say, wear, or do gives anyone the right to hurt you.

• If you think you are in an abusive relationship, get help immediately. Don't keep your concerns to your self.
• Talk to someone you trust like your parents, school counselor, or nurse.
• Call the Crisis Hotline at 552-4357 to talk to advocates about your abuse.
• Trust your instincts, if you feel uncomfortable around your partner then chances are that you are not in a healthy relationship.

(Click link to Teen Safety Plan)

Safety Plans:

BE A GOOD FRIEND HELP SOMEONE ELSE

If you know someone who might be in an abusive relationship, YOU CAN HELP...

• Tell your friend that you are worried for his/her safety.
• Be a good listener.
• Offer your friendship and support.
• Ask how you can help.
• Encourage your friend to seek help.
• Educate yourself about dating violence and healthy relationship.

Teenagers can choose better relationships when they learn to identify the early warning signs of an abusive relationship. Teens can choose better relationships when they understand that they have choices, and believe they are valuable people who deserve to be treated with respect.

Early warning signs that your date may eventually become abusive: Extreme jealousy, controlling behavior, quick involvement, mood swings, alcohol and drug use, explosive anger, isolates you from friends and family, uses force during an argument, shows hypersensitivity, blames others for his problems or feelings, verbally abusive, has abused former partners, threatens you with violence.