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Sexual Abuse
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"I didn't want to have sex with him.."

What is Sexual Assault?

Sexual assault is sexual relations against a person's will and without consent. Sexual assault by a friend, date, partner or casual acquaintance is the most prevalent form of sexual assault on college campuses. It is predicted that one in seven college women will be raped before graduations, and 90% will know their attacker. While the figures are much smaller for men, they also experience sexual assault.

What to Do if You've Just Been Sexually Assaulted

  • Get to a safe place.
  • Contact someone who can help you: a friend, the police (911), or other campus and community agencies.
  • Do not shower, drink or eat, douche, or change your clothes. These activities destroy important physical evidence in the even.
  • Get medical attention. You may have hidden injuries and may want to explore options for preventing pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.
  • Report the assault to the police.
  • MOST IMPORTANT SEEK COUNSELING.

 Common Fears

  • Fear it will happen again.
  • Fear of seeing the attacker.
  • Fear of harassment from the attackers friends and family.
  • Fear that others won't believe her.
  • Fear of other men. 
      Things you can do to help
  • Listen-don't judge. Try simply to understand the survivor's feelings.
  • Be there and give comfort. The survivor may need to talk a lot or at odd hours at the beginning. Be there as much as you can and encourage the survivor to talk to others.
  • Encourage the person to seek professional help. Be patient. Don't try to rush the healing process or "make it better."
  • Accept the person's choice of what to do about the rape - don't be overly protective. Ask what is needed, help the survivor list some options, then encourage independent decision-making, even if you disagree. It is very important that the survivor make decisions and have them respected.
  • Put aside your feelings and get support for yourself. It may be too overwhelming to deal with your angry feelings on top of the victim's.

 How Can I Protect My Child?

How can I protect my child from Sexual Abuse?  While there is no sure-fire way to protect your child from all dangers, there are some steps that you can take to help reduce the risk of a sexual assault:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.

  • Tell your children that you are always there to talk about anything. Tell them that you are there to help them solve problems and to protect them.
  • Teach your children that it is against the "rules" for adults to act in a sexual way with children and use examples.
  • Teach your children that their bodies are their own and that it is OK if they don't want a hug or other contact that might make them uncomfortable.
  • Speak to your children about using the proper names for their body parts. Armed with information, children are better able to report abuse to you.
  • Try to be relaxed when talking about these issues. If you are not tense while talking about these issues, then they are less likely to be worried about talking.
  • Talk to your children about sex when they show interest or curiosity.

Teach your children that it's OK to say no and it's OK to leave the situation.

  • Tell them that if someone does something to make them uncomfortable, they should tell that person that they are uncomfortable. Emphasize to them that if the person doesn't listen, doesn't stop, or continues to make them feel uncomfortable, they should tell someone — a parent, teacher, or other trusted adult.
  • Them them that if anyone touches them on the body parts that are covered by a bathing suit, then they should tell an adult they trust. Tell them that it is OK to say no and to leave the situation. Tell them that you can later figure out together if the person was trying to be helpful or not.

Trust your own instincts. If your instincts tell you something is wrong, follow up.

Stay calm if a child discloses abuse to you, or hints at possible abuse.

  • Don't overreact.
  • Believe the child and communicate that belief.
  • Thank the child for telling you and praise his or her courage for speaking up.
  • Emphasize that what happened was not the child's fault, and that he or she did not deserve to be treated like that.
  • Encourage the child to talk, but don't push for or imply details. Ask questions like, "What happened next?"
  • Get professional help for the child.
  • Tell the child that it is your responsibility to heel the child safe, and that you will do your best to protect him or her.
  • Report your suspicions of abuse to the local police or child protective services agency.

For information about warning signs for childhood sexual abuse, visit http://childwelfare.gov

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